…they think that blowing out other people’s candles will help them feel better about their own candles that have not been able to be lit, or have been blown out by OTHER people who once told them THEY were too serious, or dramatic.
I feel as though there are two ways people tend to approach life: either with an attitude of “seriousness”, or an attitude of “lightness.”
I attend church with my family. It is a fairly contemporary Christian church, with modern worship music, with quite a few young families that attend. Recently, at our church, their pastor for over two decades, was stepping down from his role lead pastor, and retiring, and offering the role to another. On a recent Sunday after church, I recall my family discussing how the old pastor, Pastor Sam, and the new pastor, Pastor Matt, differ in personality and teaching style. As far as beliefs go, these two Godly men believe the very same things, and have the same vision for where the church and it’s ministries are going. Although, no matter how aligned in thought and doctrine individuals may be, there will, of course, always be differences in style and approaches to things. This is to be expected.
Sam’s teaching style is a little more what you can call “serious” with a feeling intensity, coupled with a little dry, or just subtle, humor. He’s not exactly grave in his approach to faith and to Christianity, but he’s not exactly FULL of jokes either. Sam has a knack for getting straight to the point, hitting the nail firm on the head so to speak, enough to give you a hearty serving of goose bumps, and in the most beautiful and almost tear-jerking ways possible. He tells lots of stories (which I love to hear) from his well of rich experience; that brims with wisdom. When you hear Sam speak, he has a way of making you smile, and making you feel like you’ve known him for a long, long time! I can only imagine how lovely of a grandfather he is to his little ones.
Matt’s teaching style has just as much impact, and he does take his faith and religion seriously, but in comparison to Sam he probably uses much more jokes. For example, one week, he used “emojis” in an example, or side metaphor, to bring about one point in his message. “Emojis” are something of the millennial generation, and helps young people’s ears perk up, if even only slightly. I remember my dad saying he prefers Sam’s more story-rich, intensity themed messages, and my brother saying he prefers Matt’s more light approach to messages. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with liking one style over the other.
Why do I bring this up? I am a Christian, but, this particular post is not to raise questions about Christianity. Like “What is the better approach to Christianity? Lightheartedness, or seriousness?” Though that could perhaps be an interesting discussion, I’m not not asking us to ponder what the most “holy” approach to Christianity, or church messages, is (I do not think there even is such a thing).
The purpose of this post is really to just raise the question: In life as a WHOLE, in general, what is the better attitude, or approach, to take to life? I see a lot of people that have an attitude that says “I don’t take anything too seriously, therefore you shouldn’t either. Don’t overthink it.” or, I see a lot of people that have an attitude that says “Well, life is serious, and should be taken seriously.”
The challenge with the first approach, the light approach, can be that when you start to tell yourself to think less, you can start to UNDER-think. And you start to not care as much about things as one ought to. The problem with the second approach, the serious one, is that, yes, you can start to overthink and not be able to laugh at things, or laugh at yourself, anymore. You start to see life in gray and not see the positives.
I have a question, though.. who ever said being serious, was a BAD thing? Really. Who ever said that? Many of the same people who made our nation what it is, and who have come to run major corporations, were quite serious people. There is nothing wrong with being a serious or intense person: it doesn’t always mean you have a big head. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being hugely passionate or dramatic about something you love.. it’s OKAY to be very serious about something, be in LOVE with something, be in LOVE with your job, etc. Be as serious as you want! Be as PASSIONATE as you want! Don’t let people tell you what to feel and what not to feel.
I think people who don’t have a lot of passions like to poke fun at people that do and call them being “too serious” because they are subtly just jealous of them, because they WISH they had the level of devotion, energy, and passion people that are serious about things, have. If candles are passions, I think some people think that blowing out other people’s candles will help them feel better about their own candles that have not been able to be lit (or, brought to life) yet, or, that it will make them feel better about the candles that have been blown out by OTHER people who once told them THEY were too serious, or dramatic.
I really do respect people that, while being very deep ponderers or feelers, are able to laugh at themselves sometimes and not take themselves too seriously sometimes. I like to laugh at myself. “Wow, that was dramatic of me how much that movie made me cry, LOL! Whew that was a doozy: someone call 911!!!” At the end of the day, though, I do like to respect my own feelings, let myself feel, and let myself WILDLY feel and not hold myself in constraints.
I conclude with a tip or two. Next time you are questioning if you’re over-thinking, also ask yourself “Is there any way of UNDER-thinking this?” And, if you ever find yourself looking at people and thinking “Wow, they’re being so dramatic.” or “Wow, they’re being too serious.” I think it’s important to ask yourself why. Do YOU have things you are dramatic about too? Are there things YOU are very serious about, too? Perhaps it’s good idea to let them have big feelings, too.
Life is certainly a doozy. Let’s all be extra together.