Campaign Chasm

We struggle through life as our scars collide, when our paths converge, cross, and zip around frantically. The way we process and function provides a foundation, but experiences provide a cloud of dust like those seen in war. As such, life becomes war, thus there are battles. The battles are bloody and they affect each of us in various ways. It’s not easy.

I needed a friend as the walls crashed down.

Atop my weak body. Sad face. Big frown.

I know that friends come in all experiences and pain.

From those who are humble to the utmost vain.

I’ve learned a few things recently, more notably over the past few years. I’ve learned more about myself, about why I function the way I do, and what types of things I can be great at. I’ve also gotten perspective on some “life stuff”, things like…

1. You can have strong feelings for another person and it be legitimately and fully platonic yet complex, painful, and disorienting at the same time.

I’ve met so many people in my life. We all have. Some of those people have stirred feelings in me, whether it be excitement, or sadness, or some other emotion. With others, I feel nothing at all. Either way, those people may be of the opposite sex, or of the same sex, or heterosexual, or homosexual, or whatever. The truth is, regardless of any of the variables involved, they are still people and should be treated as such, treated as I would want them to treat me, regardless of how I feel about them. Respect is not always subjective. We need to make sure we aren’t dehumanizing people. That seems to be the fad these days.

Your negative energy leaped straight off the page.

Right into my heart, carrying a preposterous wage.

Then they all sat there with their judgmental beams.

While my worth lie crushed under soul-torn seams.

2. People have their own problems, but for many of them, they act like their problems are the only problems.

Perhaps the weakest thing anyone has ever said to me was, “You don’t know what we’ve been through.” Why is that weak? It’s weak because saying something like that is dismissive of the person’s problems to whom you are saying it to. It’s shows a total lack of empathy. Acting like you are the only person in the entire world with problems is bordering on narcissism if not clearly over the line. News flash: We All Have Problems. Knowing this should move you closer to empathy, closer to compassion, and closer to love, not further away from it.

Past experience future bound with reckless intent.

Space time continuum now feels broken and bent.

Weak proposition flows out like vomit.

Neurotic episode wildfire put out with tonic.

3. Don’t expect people in the church, individually, to be any different than people who aren’t in the church.

This pill will be so incredibly tough for some people to swallow, but I’m here to enlighten you. Generally speaking, I’ve been treated as badly by people in the church as I have by people outside of the church. Form your own conclusions, be my guest. It doesn’t change my beliefs in any way. It’s just a really sad reality. Isn’t there supposed to be a different standard. Reality would disagree. Things have been twisted so tightly over the years that spirituality has been suppressed by religion. The lies. The hypocrisy. The judgement. All there. Lack of empathy. The cliques. Absence of grace. All there too.

Revolution needed as this ship runs aground.

Hypocrisy. Judgement. All the bad stuff. What’s that sound?

Could it be you’ve lost your way. Pray by night. Deceive by day.

Shaking my head in irritation as your rules wash love away.

4. People mistype themselves and it can lead to extremely odd behavior that doesn’t match up to who they really are.

We’re all different, but we also have similarities. Sometimes we desire to be a certain way and it’s easy to latch on to that, but reality is we are still a different way. Just because a meme says something like, “If you are this type, you can door slam people and you’ll be praised for it”, doesn’t mean you should take on that personality and start door slamming people at the slightest whim of discomfort, in some self-fulfilling prophecy, turning a misguided message into a twisted reality. Learn you and be the best you. Don’t try to be something you’re not. It will throw your gravity way off. You’ll lose any edge you had otherwise.

It seemed so great. The power it brought.

But finding you is what you ought to have sought.

The hype train will take you right over the ledge.

Unless you’re honest with self, you’ll lose your edge.

Not all battles are won, by either side, and sometimes they are even lost by both. Life can be a war full of chasmic campaigns, and the battles often pick us.