Crying in the Rain

I suppose the 1980s hair band song title pulled you in right? After all, I am a child of the 80s and I did listen to a lot hair metal back then, and for all intents and purposes I suppose I still do in the 2010s. Anyway, this article isn’t about 1980s hair metal. Nope, it’s actually about crying and I hope this article is short, but at this point I’m really not sure if it will be. You’ll just have to keep reading.

It’s been said that women cry about 5.3 times per month, although I would have expected that number to be higher. Men, on the other hand, only cry about 1.3 times per month. Of course, the statistics around why people cry is most likely unattainable. Emotions, disorders, physical pain, drugs, alcohol, etc. all contribute in various ways and to truly track this data would be impossible in my opinion.

I can tell you that I have literally gone years without crying. Yeah, it’s astonishing and quite honestly a bit annoying, if not painful. I know what you’re thinking. You can’t cry and that causes you pain, so why don’t you cry and feel better. Good point but I have no response. Let’s face it, it’s also been said that 53% of people report feeling better after crying. If only it were that easy. I remember times, when I’ve had a bad day for example, where I wanted to cry so badly. No, I wanted to weep! But nothing. Not so much as a convulsion in my abdomen. No lump in the throat. None of the pre-cry processes ever happened, and thus crying never happened. The emotion was trapped inside me like a wild lion in a cage at your metropolitan area zoo. Talking didn’t help. Exercise produced nothing. Hitting trees only left your hands red or bruised. There was no relief, only discomfort. I could have used Bob, the huggable character from Fight Club. He had… well, just watch the movie. Like a drought kills the plants, it felt like my drought was killing me.

Other times, the tears came, and came… and came. A rare occurrence indeed. Sitting in a coffee shop, working, hiding my face from everyone else there. They don’t need to see this. It doesn’t concern them. And it didn’t. The gal behind the counter was concerned. I think she was an extroverted feeler who could sense something was wrong. I got it together though. A few trips to the restroom did the trick. Of course the puffy, red eyes couldn’t be hidden. Cold water helped, but the eyes don’t lie. Next day same thing, different place. The following day, same thing. It’s hard to figure out some times. For me, I tend to feel others’ emotions strongly, even absorb their emotions. Like Peter Petrelli from the TV series “Heroes” experienced, it can be a bit overwhelming to absorb so much from another person. It is quite interesting however that Peter Petrelli is portrayed by Milo Ventimiglia who also plays Jack Pearson in the TV series “This is Us”, a show that, well, makes people cry. It’s a tangled web of emotion and we are trapped in it!

Of course, there’s the age old debate about whether “real men” cry. I can settle this for you now. Real men cry. Yes, real men cry. In fact, I will add that the more real the man, the more in touch with emotions he is. That means that for you ladies he understands when you cry 5.3 times per month. Crying can be extremely therapeutic, especially for men. If you are a man, and you haven’t cried in a few years, like I hadn’t years back, then I suggest you find a way to get those tears out.

There’s also the “cry face”. Just about all of us have various cry faces and I’m willing to bet each of us has an “ugly cry face”. Oh and don’t forget Crying Jordan. That’s always popular. I’m more of a shaking type of cryer. I don’t really do the wrinkled jowl like many people do, but I do shake, quite violently when I cry. People who can’t actually see my face when I’m crying, like when my hands are covering it, may even mistake my crying for laughing, but they would be so incredibly wrong. Usually after crying I squint my eyes for a while, perhaps because they are puffy and red. If I ever cry, then glare at you, just know that I’m not mad at you. I just got done crying and I can’t stop squinting. We’re all good.

Anyway, this article about crying really has no purpose. I just wanted to talk about crying. My crying comes in droves and usually goes as quickly as it comes. But rest assured that if you are near me and you are sad or crying, then it’s going to be really tough for me not to be sad or crying with you.

I’m a good listener too, so if you ever need to talk, contact me. I promise I’ll cry with you, even if we’re in the rain!