The Wall

Go away she said. Away from me. Blocked! Unblocked. And Blocked again!

It never feels good when its from a friend.

It mirrors my childhood from back in the day.

Can I get in? Can I play?

Who do you think you are? Go the hell away. We don’t care what you have to say.

Why don’t they like me, what have I done?

I felt their anger. I felt their pain.

It’s been a while since I felt this way.

Back to the future where I wallow in hurt.

In the morning. At lunch. And after work.

Is this about you or is this about me? I’m really not sure. I just can’t see.

My “Fe” alarms me that something is wrong.

But the pain is confusing and my effort is lost.

So I sit on the sideline feeling alone.

My back against this wall. It keeps me down. It keeps me out.

Isolated. And wanting to change. So that I never make her hurt again.

Please don’t try to understand me. I can’t explain it. You have to trust me.

This too shall pass. This constant ache.

You don’t come back. From some mistakes.