Go away she said. Away from me. Blocked! Unblocked. And Blocked again!
It never feels good when its from a friend.
It mirrors my childhood from back in the day.
Can I get in? Can I play?
Who do you think you are? Go the hell away. We don’t care what you have to say.
Why don’t they like me, what have I done?
I felt their anger. I felt their pain.
It’s been a while since I felt this way.
Back to the future where I wallow in hurt.
In the morning. At lunch. And after work.
Is this about you or is this about me? I’m really not sure. I just can’t see.
My “Fe” alarms me that something is wrong.
But the pain is confusing and my effort is lost.
So I sit on the sideline feeling alone.
My back against this wall. It keeps me down. It keeps me out.
Isolated. And wanting to change. So that I never make her hurt again.
Please don’t try to understand me. I can’t explain it. You have to trust me.
This too shall pass. This constant ache.
You don’t come back. From some mistakes.