You’re letting yourself break, because, sometimes, no matter how much you try to hold the pieces together, that impact is going to break the dam eventually.
Are you an NF??
I wanted to write this post because, we NFs feel a myriad of feelings that sometimes seem crazy to others, and for this, we feel often alone in the world. We’re told all the time that our feelings are “wrong” or “incorrect.” I want to inform you of this concept and say that it is a real, real thing, and I want to explain it.
It may sound like a strange concept, or perhaps not so strange, if you are an NF. It may sound weird if you are a dominant extroverted feeling type. All the more reason you should maybe be open to learning this and learning about it, in case you ever feel it yourself..
Has pain or sadness, ever felt “good” in some capacity? No, it’s not because of self victimization (even though.. in some situations, it could be.) I think it is because, you are letting yourself feel something for a little, instead of fighting it. It’s a form of rest. It’s not defeat. It’s not self victimization. Contrary to what I think most would say. It’s really just simple. You’re being yourself for a second and not trying to control or regulate AT ALL. You’re accepting yourself, flaws, “incorrect” feelings, and ALL. We’re literally putting on faces, performing, and regulating all day. At work, at school, etc. As Matt tweeted, on his Twitter once, that, you don’t have to try to change or improve, “I’m loveable just the way I am.”
You’re letting yourself break (be sad, or cry), because, sometimes, no matter how much you try to hold the pieces together, that impact is going to break the dam eventually.
People say to always be optimistic and never let yourself feel defeated. I disagree. I’ve shared this in other posts past, but, I think it’s OK to feel even feelings of defeat sometimes.
Not letting yourself feel something many times means you’re pushing it down. Don’t push your feelings away or hide them under the rug, so long, as to forget they are there, and are looking to come back one day and haunt you. (The subconscious mind stinks, with stuff like this.)
Always check yourself. “AM I wallowing and completely closed to looking for solutions? Or, nah, am I just not afraid to feel an emotion for a couple of minutes?” I think a good exercise is, when you feel a very sad emotion like defeat or helplessness like this, sit with it and let yourself cry as hard as you can and want, for 10 minutes (set your own timer). Just let it OUT. Get it out of you. After that, do not think about “sad thing” anymore for the rest of the day after that, choosing to find solutions, or bettering yourself by doing whatever it is that makes you happy: maybe doing a face mask, working out, buying a ingredients to make a yummy healthy recipe at home, etc! Self love, and optimistic things like that. You are NOT a victim of yourself. You love yourself, and are finding solutions.
You’re allowed to scream, you’re allowed to cry, but do not give up.
I would add the word “totally.” “Do not TOTALLY give up.” Because crying, and ugly crying, sometimes gives us the feeling that we’re giving up. No. Crying over something is not giving up fighting it. So let yourself cry over it at least. Unleashed emotions, alone in your room, do not rule or determine your outcome. You control your outcome. So let yourself do it
In conclusion: in all of this, it’s about letting the impact of something (a hurtful thing) break you. If you need to. Rather than saying “this doesn’t hurt.” And it’s about not beating ourselves up over that. Breaking over things is natural, and I think it should be seen as so.