In my head.
This greatness is dead.
It’s gone from me.
How can that be?
They’re 11, 9, and 7.
But I’m in a place.
Where they’ve all gone away.
The swings sit perfectly clean.
But what I see is covered in rust.
Their joyfulness. Their neediness.
It all feels empty and not present.
I know this place will look different soon.
As the tears begin to slowly brew.
Obstructing my mind. Obstructing my view.
As the blessings and pain intertwine.
Like a braid from a vine.
I realize we’re already gone.
At least I am, without a home.
My body is trapped in this circumstance.
But my mind is stuck in a far away trance.
That cannot be described to you or to me.
I simply can’t tell you what my mind can see.
The frustration of peering in front of me.
But wanting to reach. To touch. To hold. To see.
Now I am forced to close my eyes.
So I can see… beyond this life.